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VEST Her Podcast
A podcast exploring the invisible barriers holding women back in the workplace and sharing stories of women navigating careers and building power collectively.
VEST Her Podcast
The Art of Speaking with Impact and Presence
Your personal brand is the sum of how others perceive you—your strengths, the expertise they associate with you, and the way you communicate your skills and personality both in person and online. But why is having a personal brand so important? Throughout your career, one thing is certain: you will need to pivot. Pivots are inevitable, often unexpected. Whether it’s a layoff, taking breaks to care for loved ones, or another curveball, having a strong professional brand already in place gives you the agility to respond and adapt on your terms.
But how do you build one, and how do you communicate it effectively? Join us as we talk to Rena Cook, founder of Vocal Authority about how VEST Members can communicate with confidence, authenticity, and influence. From activists to CEOs, Rena has guided professionals to harness their voices as a powerful tool for leadership and connection. As a speaker, author, and vocal coach, Rena’s approach blends practical insights with actionable strategies you can start using immediately to elevate your presentations and everyday conversations.
If you enjoyed the episode share it with a friend and don't forget to leave us a review. If you are ready to take your career to the next level, apply to join our community of professional women, all eager to help you get there and stay there. Check out our VEST Membership and apply today! www.VESTHer.co
Hey everyone, this is Erica Lucas, your host and founding member of Vest, an organization connecting women across industries, regions and career levels so that together we can expedite the pipeline of more women in positions of power and influence. Welcome to another episode of the Vestor Podcast, where we explore the invisible barriers holding women back in the workplace and share stories of women building power collectively.
Speaker 2:I want to talk for just a moment about authenticity. We hear that a lot. It's a big word and it's used everywhere and we all think I'm authentic. Right, I'm not phony, I am not putting on something, I am not. But what people recognize as authenticity is when you are present with your breath, you are present with the other people, you are curious, you are listening, you are a part of the energy of the space. Then people perceive you as authentic.
Speaker 3:Your personal brand is the sum of how others perceive you, your strengths, the expertise people associate with you and the way in which you communicate your skills and personality, both in person and online. But why is having a personal brand so important Throughout our career? One thing is certain we will need to pivot. Pivots are inevitable and often unexpected, whether it's a layoff, taking breaks to care for loved ones. Having a personal brand already in place gives us the ability and agility to respond and adapt on our own terms. But how do you build a personal brand and how do we communicate it effectively? Join us as we talk to Rena Cook, founder of Vocal Authority, about how do we communicate it effectively. Join us as we talk to Reena Cook, founder of Vocal Authority, about how we can communicate with confidence, authenticity and influence, from activists to CEOs. Reena has guided hundreds of professionals on how to use their voice as a powerful tool for leadership and connection as a speaker, author and vocal coach.
Speaker 1:Reena's approach blends practical insights with actionable strategies you can start using immediately to elevate your presentation and everyday conversations. For our guests' full bios and show notes go to wwwbestherco forward slash podcast. If you enjoy the episode, share it with a friend and don't forget to leave us a review. This episode is brought to you by Vest Her Ventures, a peer network of professional women and investment fund for women-led companies in the care economy and future of work.
Speaker 1:To learn more, go to wwwvestherco. This episode was part of a more intimate coaching session with Vest members and has been repurposed to accommodate this episode.
Speaker 2:I started life as a singer, actor, dancer. I thought that's what I was going to be. I was going to be a star on Broadway. My parents were supportive but encouraged me to get a theater teaching degree so that I would have something to fall back on. And of course, you know, in my young bravado I really won't need anything to fall back on. But I did do the teaching degree and what I discovered in the student teaching portion is that I was put on this earth to teach. My passion is theater, my purpose is teaching. So I taught theater for decades.
Speaker 2:I went from high school theater to college and then I became obsessed with the human voice. If the voice is not working, nothing else matters. So I went to London Center School of Speech and Drama that Erica mentioned and studied voice for a year and came back a teacher reborn. And it was then that I recognized that I needed to share this theatre voice skill set with a wider audience. And that's why I created Vocal Authority and started my journey to reaching out into the world to see who needed this skill set and, as a result, this tremendous community of women empowerment opened up to me. I didn't know when I started where I was going to find the energy or the path for my work and it turned out that right now, in the scope of women's history, women are more attuned, more open, more excited than they have ever been. My goal is to help match the passion with the ability to articulate and share that passion, so that has become my driving force in the last decade.
Speaker 3:Tell us about your organization, though, so because the way I met you. Your organization, though, so cause the way I met you. I went to an event in Tulsa that was for, uh, women and politics I think Madison Horn was part of the party.
Speaker 2:Part of the party um is the Tulsa uh democratic women party or group, and I was speaking that day at that group. I inadvertently fell into the political space. I do the voice coaching for an organization called Sally's List. It's a statewide nonprofit that recruits, trains and supports women who are running for public office, and I've been doing that now for 10 years. I'm now on the board and so I work organizationally and in the training component for that organization. So I have become active in the political space primarily because of social justice, equality. Those issues motivate me and I work with people who are similarly motivated.
Speaker 3:So I want to touch on, you know, what we mentioned. Both of us mentioned a little bit. I do think that many women aspire to become public speakers or get better at public speaking, but often skip that essential first step right that we talked about, like defining their personal brand and what their core passions are and how they want to utilize those. And without a clear sense of how they want to show up and why, you know, it can become challenging to show up consistently and authentically. So what advice would you offer to women before we even get into the tacticals of public speaking? What?
Speaker 2:advice would you offer to reflect on their goals and intention for building that personal brand? That is such a good question, and I'm currently creating a presentation about creating your vocal brand. But a personal brand, as Erica mentioned, is how I want to show up in the space, and an exercise which she probably sent out this week is to list the qualities in yourself that you are most proud of, and we, as women, tend to focus on the qualities that we are least proud of. We lead with those and we are ashamed of those when we show up in the public space. And to change our focus from what is it about us that holds us back to what is it about us that we celebrate. That is our strong suit. What do we bring to the table? What do we bring to a group? What do we bring to our families? And if you're not sure, ask the people who know you best and you can create for yourself a little survey and you can give it. If you're afraid that your friends and family won't give you honest feedback, ask them to write it out. How do you see me? What do you see as my strengths? What happens when I show up in a room? What do I offer a group that maybe nobody else does, and that's how you can start to define who you are.
Speaker 2:As I have become more active in the professional space rather than the theater space, I have decided that my personal brand number one is energy and joy, which is what most people will say are the qualities that they notice first about me. I love what I do and I have a great deal of energy associated with that. I also dress professionally. I also dress professionally not that you need to, but I love to dress. I am I joke an aging fashionista and I love to dress up. So I have claimed my visual brand as being professional, not too theatrical, but with a little bit of theatrical flair. Sometimes I'll put on a scarf if I have on a black jacket, and that's my visual brand is to show up professionally, to be present. That's another part of my brand.
Speaker 2:I want to be present for everybody in the group.
Speaker 2:I want to be present for everybody in the group and we may talk a bit about presence, and I have a whole presentation about what that means and how we can find that present space within us. We have to dial down our neuroses that says I'm not worthy. I have this quirk, I have this dialect, I have this lazy eye or whatever it is that drives you nuts. You have to put that aside and look at who is present. It's like right now I am looking at the faces on my screen and I am breathing deeply and making eye contact and seeing what each person in the group needs. When I am other-focused, I am more present than when I am self-focused, if that makes any sense, and part of your brand should be that you are present for the people in the group, whether it's a family, whether it's a work situation or an organization like this, when you can make your personal brand reflect that you are present for them and that they are not present for you, and then you will get all those beautiful things back to you.
Speaker 3:But you first start by giving out um, I want to talk to you before again we get into tacticals.
Speaker 3:One more question about the importance of identity and doing this work, so tied to this previous question, because I think that often another thing that I have seen many women do when they, you know, try to get into public speaking is that they attach their identity too much to their title or to the organization as opposed to doing the work on, like you know, again, taking a step back and like what is the whole picture Right?
Speaker 3:Because, because I mean the likelihood of us pivoting in our careers, right, whether it's changing jobs or moving out the ladder or loosen the title or being laid off or whatever it's, it's bound to change and we're also, as humans, right. So how do we, what do you think about that important, I mean, that's, that's another thing that's important, right? That when we're assessing our values and how we want to show up and how do we want to be remembered and all of those things, it's important to do the work, which takes a lot of work to do, actually, and a lot of thinking and self-assessment to think about this outside of just tying it to you know, well, I work in venture capital, so I'm, you know I'm going to talk about venture capital every time I you know like. You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely. And I think that when we use the term public speaking, that that's scary if we don't do it. But sharing our truth, or sharing a bit of our expertise, and learning how to share that confidently is more important than thinking, oh, I am going to be a public speaker. What is it that you have to share? And every one of us has some part of our experience, of our family, of our professional life where we can talk truthfully, and each one of you has something special and unique and of value that you can and should be sharing out loud with your voice to other people.
Speaker 2:And what I'm going to talk about today is how we practice to do that. It is not enough just to think I can talk about these things, and I am going to ask to be allowed to talk about these things. Don't wait for someone to knock on your door and say would you come and talk to us about that? Knock on their door and say I have this thought, I have this idea, I have this strategy, I have this opinion, I have this heart full and I would like to share it with you.
Speaker 3:You gave some thoughts about. You know how to overcome the self-doubt, and that's focusing on serving others rather than on yourself. What's other advice that you have for those who do feel self-doubt or have self-imposed limitations?
Speaker 2:Well, I have a whole course on what I call taming performance anxiety. But it is exactly what you described, erica. It doesn't have to be about I get nervous in front of people. It can be about any limiting thought I can't go up for. That promotion I'm not qualified yet, I can't ask to share in this environment. No one will take me seriously and those are self-limiting thoughts that happen under the rubric of taming performance anxiety. It's really taming any kind of anxiety, anything that stops us from being fully ourselves.
Speaker 2:I teach a three-part process and if you practice the process, you will expand your belief in yourself. The first step is releasing habitual tension in the body. Anxiety, thoughts of our own inadequacy hunker down in tight muscles. And if we open up the body and you can do this through yoga, through dance, through just releasing and stretching and moving and shaking to release the body, that's step number one. Step number two is slow, deep breathing, which gets into the strategies that Erica is talking about, and if it comes up, I can teach you a couple of quick breathing exercises that help you connect with your grounded and centered person deep in your core.
Speaker 2:And the third is limiting or controlling negative mental messaging. We're all so good at negative messaging. We say horrible things to ourselves that we would never say to another human being. And the more times we say, even if we say it to ourselves, they will think I'm stupid. They will think I'm foolish. The more we say that, the more our body and our brain takes it on as truth. So we have to, and I know we all know about positive affirmations and they don't work because we don't do them right.
Speaker 2:If you take that negative message, they will think I'm foolish and change it to. They will see how competent and prepared I am, even if you don't believe it yet. You say that over and over when you're deep breathing, not when you're keyed up and excited and you go oh God, oh God. They're going to see how prepared I am. Your body and your brain is saying you lie right. Your body and your brain is saying you lie right. But if you say it when you are exhaling that slow, deep breath, they will see how competent and prepared I am. They will see how competent and prepared I am and your brain. The neural pathways in your brain are going toward each other and you've said it enough times till they finally meet and your body and your brain take that on as your new truth. And if you work the process every day, 10, telling myself I am worthy, I am adequate, I am more than adequate, I am amazing and every single one of you is amazing. You just have to teach yourself to believe it.
Speaker 3:You've coached hundreds of women from politics to corporate America. Can you share an example of women showing up authentically and effectively, in an example where maybe the authenticity or the energy was lacking? And then what can we learn from both things, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had a client. She came to me, a young woman, 30-ish, between 30 and 40 probably, and she said I have to quit my job. I said, well, why? What's wrong? She said, well, public speaking is a component of my work. We do group presentations and every time it comes up I get physically ill. I have to quit my job. And I said, well, before you quit, let's work together, commit to 10 sessions, and then, if you still feel like you need to quit your job, you have my blessing. And then, if you still feel like you need to quit your job, you have my blessing. Well, we worked 10 sessions on essentially public speaking technique how to stand, how to breathe, how to make space in your mouth, how to use your words and we practiced and practiced and practiced 10 sessions. She goes back to work, they're dividing up their presentation. Back to work, they're dividing up their presentation. And one of the members of the group said you need to be doing the whole presentation. You're clearly the best speaker.
Speaker 2:Nothing had changed in her, except she had technique and skills and began to believe it because she practiced it enough. So that's going from oh my God, I'm shrinking, I'm dying to. I can do this in 10 sessions. It's the process, it's not me, I'm not the magic. It's the process that changed her.
Speaker 2:On the other side, the energy can be way wrong, and you've met those women that are working so hard. Yeah, you see, their shoulders go back and their chest come up and their chin come up and the voice is so strident that you go, oh, so strident that you go, oh, please have me back down, right, I call that the bluff. It's like I'm not really confident. I'm not authentically confident, but I'm going to try to convince you that I am. Well, that sound sends men running out the back door, right. So in the work that I do with them, I help them move that energy that is here, that is so hard to accept to move down. Let me move my camera down to my center, and when I'm finding power low in my body, I can be just as authoritative, just as strong, but I'm not strident, and so people want to gather in to that power rather than being pushed out by this aggression.
Speaker 3:I love that. I may need to take that one, that lesson. I seem to intimidate a man often.
Speaker 2:Oh, I can't tell you. All three of my husbands at one point have said don't use that teacher tone with me. And I know that I've gotten too strident. So I take a breath, I drop my energy down and I turn on my curiosity rather than my judgment. When I'm not judging and I'm curious, I can then breathe and move my power down. I don't lose anything by doing that. I gain in the relationship.
Speaker 3:I love the visualization of moving your power down Right, like and it just reminds you, too, of like breathing deep. Yes.
Speaker 2:All good things come from here. I tell my actors and I'm still in the actor training space as I work at Oklahoma City University with the actors there I tell them that in their center, down here, are their emotions, their memories, their experiences, their opinions, and everything that is true and authentic comes from deep inside their center and it is the deep breath that accesses that. And that's what I teach not only to actors, but also to the women that I coach.
Speaker 3:I love that. I want to start incorporating some of the questions because there's many on the chat. I also want to remind members if you have a question, feel free to raise your hand so we can find you and unmute you and you can ask it or drop it in the chat. There's one from Courtney. She says Reena, have you noticed performance anxiety increase in the post-COVID era? And I'm going to add something to that. I think isolation, right, like I do think we're becoming increasingly isolated.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, I think you're absolutely right. I see it less in mature women who had a long track record of being out with people and had honed their skills in that space. Younger people, during those formative two years that they were out of well, we were all out of life, out of interacting with life they have increased in performance anxiety because they lost two years of experience. They didn't have the long years of experience behind them as some more mature adults have. I noticed that with our college students. Oh my gosh, they don't know how to work. They don't you know. I mean, they just have changed. Covid changed younger people, and not for the better, but those of us who had years of being alive and working and that experience, covid didn't take that away from us.
Speaker 4:That's so helpful and Reena too, just for context. I am 30 in age and felt very confident prior to kind of the COVID era, in a public speaking kind of scenario and in a variety of rooms. That really did feel like a strong suit of mine. And then it was almost like I was in these virtual rooms with equally as influential of an audience and just got into this space of feeling really comfortable behind my screen with my prepared notes. And then it's the first kind of opportunity I stepped out and had a presentation in front of a group of people post COVID.
Speaker 4:It was like it was having this out of body experience, Like I couldn't get my breath under me and I just it was the most bizarre thing. I started self-diagnosing of like what in the world has happened, what is wrong, Because, again, I really had felt confident in that area and so it was curious, if you've seen that and, like I said, I'm 30 and have been, I mean, doing this work since post-grad in 2016. So on the younger side but really noticed it kind of and vulnerably speaking, really noticed it impact me and I'm kind of trying to claw back to where I was as far as my confidence level and speaking kind of in public situations prior.
Speaker 2:I totally understand and how frightening that was the first time you went. Oh God, I've lost it. But you know what happens and what you're describing is perfectly natural. I started in the last couple of years weight training and it's become an obsession, right. Lifting is my thing. When I lift every day, the muscles that I have developed stay in place. When I stop lifting, the muscles go away. During COVID we stopped doing our practice and so the skills that we had learned, they go away. If you don't massage them, If you don't keep lifting, the ground you gain has gone away. So you essentially, after a two-year hiatus, have to go back to the basics and kind of relearn those lessons that went away. But you'll relearn them faster than it took the first time. Your body will remember. Just practice, Put yourself back into those situations, even if they're painful.
Speaker 2:And it's okay to say to an audience I'm struggling here. I have something that I want to share and I'm just back out after whatever, and I'm a little nervous today and I just wanted to share that before we begin. When you share your vulnerabilities with the audience, when you share your vulnerabilities with the audience, they don't think less of you, they think more of you. They feel bonded to you because you have shared your vulnerability. So I often teach that to clients who are making their first steps into the public speaking world. To just say this is what's going on with me. Eight years ago I had a big old speech right after the election and I was still devastated and I confessed that right at the top. I am really struggling today. I want to be with you, I want to share this material, but from the outset, this is a rough time for me.
Speaker 3:And it also speaks to authenticity, right, Like people connect more. I think that, as women, we've been thought that we need to be almost perfect to thrive in the workplace, Right? Actually, that is very like people don't resonate with perfection. People resonate with realness and authenticity and perfection. You know so yeah.
Speaker 2:I love that. I want to talk for just a moment about authenticity. We hear that a lot. It's a big word and it's used everywhere and we all think I'm authentic. Right, I'm not phony, I am not putting on something, I am not. But what people recognize as authenticity is when you are present with your breath, you are present with the other people, you are curious, you are listening, you are a part of the energy of the space. Then people perceive you as authentic. If you're bluffing and trying to prove because of your insecurity that hey, I belong here, that's not authentic. If I shrink into myself, that's not really who I am either. Because of whatever's going on with me and my neuroses today, I can't be fully present. But if I let a deep breath drop into my center and I look in the eyes of the other people there, I will feel authentic and the group will perceive me as authentic.
Speaker 3:First time I've heard that. That's great. There are a couple more great questions. I'm going to jump into those Monica asks. As a relatively new consultant, my strategy has been to ask organizations what the needs or gaps are. But I'm curious about what you just said on knocking on their door to share your ideas with them. In your experience, can doing that lead to a paid gig? Paid speaking gigs? I'm guessing. Absolutely not speaking gigs, not a speaking gig, but like a consulting gig.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I knew what you were saying, monica, absolutely, um, that well, there's two things that occur to me. Networking and forming relationships is the way that you find your consulting gigs. If consulting gigs aren't happening as an outgrowth of networking and the people that you're meeting, then you do that hard slog work of saying I'd like to work for AT&T. Who is the HR director of AT&T? Do they have a training person? Is it the HR person or is there in that department someone who books trainers? That's the target.
Speaker 2:And then you try to phone them, you try to email them, you try to take them out for coffee Can I come by your office for 15 minutes? And and then cold calling the companies that I want to work for? I have material to hand, I have videos to share, I have a whole bunch of stuff. When I go in and cold call, I'm not just saying, hey, look at me what I have to give, because you know that they're going to go. Ah, maybe not now, right, but if you have things to show and share that is really going to help them, they are much more likely to want to book you to do a consulting or a training.
Speaker 3:Yes, I love that and I will say I get asked that all the time. I think because I do, by nature of the work that we do do a lot of public speaking and oftentimes people, and sometimes it is paid. Sometimes I do do paid speaking gigs. You know public speaker immediately as to like, how do I get paid speaking gigs? That's why I'm sorry, I assumed that, Monica, but I love what you said, Rena, because you know, when you do go out there and start doing more public speaking, there's a lot of ways in which you can benefit, right, Networking, building your I mean relationships, it's everything.
Speaker 3:It's how we hire, promote, invest and you know so, the more you get out there and the more people start identifying you with an expertise or you know a subject matter thing, the better. It can also pay and I'm happy to like, I'm an open book when it comes to that, because I want women to get paid when they deserve to get paid and when they're doing speaking gigs at conference where they make a lot of money, absolutely. But I do also want to set the record straight that that is very unlikely, right, that's for the Brene Browns of the world, for people that can charge a $25,000 speaking gig, or $50,000, $100,000. Or $50,000, $100,000,. There are other ways to build momentum and value on why you're showing up to different spaces. That doesn't necessarily have to do with the paid speaking gig, right, it can lead to opportunities like you just said, Monica, or kind of where your mindset was going. It can lead to investment opportunities, branding opportunities to get the name of your organization out there, and you just never know who you're going to meet.
Speaker 2:So I appreciate that I can add on to that. Erica, I range in my speaking fees all the way from nothing to $10,000. And I am doing free speeches just as much as I'm doing the $5,000 and $10,000 speeches. And when I started I did a lot of speeches for free. I reached out to all organizations who have lunchtime meetings and they book in you know, the 10 minute speaker, the 20 minute speaker and I said can I come and talk about this thing that I'm doing? And? And so I gave a lot of it away. I still give a lot of it away and when I'm approached or I reach out to an organization who has money and can pay, I ask for five $10,000. And occasionally I actually get it.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and it's always good to check with other speakers like to see you know, because I do think that there's a discrepancy out there with, like you know, women not getting their fair share. So I think that there's an opportunity for that discussion. But also, just look at I love that you shared this example, rina, so thank you. There is another very important question and I think it's very real and I'm glad that you asked it. The question is employers often are threatened by the term personal brand. How can we navigate around that, even though having a personal brand helps with visibility for both the individual and the organization? I have actually seen this take place and it's been shared with me from several other women.
Speaker 2:I missed a word there at the beginning. What is the thing that the workplace is often adverse to?
Speaker 3:So when women do start doing more public speaking or being more visible in the community, in the industry, taking on more of an active forth-facing role or building their personal brand, that sometimes can threaten the employer feeling like, oh, is she going to leave or is she becoming the face of the organization you know? So how do you navigate that?
Speaker 2:I think that other people around us becoming threatened by our good works is something that we all have to navigate, that we all have to navigate. It's a reality of public professional work life, particularly if we are in a space dominated by men. And so, building the relationship with the boss, the employer, the person that you're concerned about, deepen your relationship with them. Be curious about what they're valuing, be curious about what's going on with their work, with their family, with their hobbies. If you have a strong personal relationship, they are less likely to be, to be intimidated. If you feel that they are, reassure them, have that conversation, and you don't have to say, of course I'm concerned that you might be threatened, no, no, leave that out of the conversation. But it's like I just want you to know that the work I'm doing over here, though it's very, very meaningful to me, it does not take my focus away from my work here or the work that I am doing with you, and I just wanted to talk to see if there's a problem with that or if you've been concerned about that. I want to reassure you that this is where my loyalties lie. So it's partially, and it's not like I'm encouraging you to flatter or to flirt. It's authentic.
Speaker 2:Your desire to have an authentic relationship with the people you work with is real. It's not manipulative, if it comes from an open heart and so forming, ensuring the relationship is strong and then confronting your concerns in an open and loving way, I think will help you negotiate and navigate those waters. But you always need to have a part of you attuned to that. What's going on in the relationships here and how am I navigating that? And rather than, oh God, people don't like me, you know, don't let that happen. But how can I stay present and positive in all of my relationships so that people are comfortable with me and feel empowered in my presence?
Speaker 3:Obviously, online presence. It's becoming more and more important and if you talk to us about that, what is public speaking in the online space?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it's got several layers. First, I prepare for an online meeting or talk or presentation in the same way that I prepare for an in-person. I warm up my body, I warm up my voice, I get my nerves under control before I ever come to the computer, then notice how I'm sitting. I want my shoulders and my hands to be seen in the screen. So I don't, you know, I don't want to do this so that they just see the top of my head. I don't want to cut my head off, I don't want to be too far away and I don't want to be too close, because that's weird. But I try to center myself in the space. When I am wanting to feel like I'm connected to the group, I look at the faces on my screen. When I'm answering a question, I look at my camera so that it seems to everybody that I'm looking in their eyes. So I want to be present. I sit up straight, I don't relax into my seat. I don't play with my phone, even though the phone is such a strong attraction. The only thing I do that is a bit distracting is I have to have my coffee or my water and but and I want my hands to be seen, you know, because I gesture, I use my hands and they are part of my communication. So it's preparation.
Speaker 2:Oh, light. I didn't say about lighting. In my own space I have a ring light Today. I'm just using the beautiful natural light that's coming in this space, but the lighting should be behind your computer and not behind you. Glasses that reflect. You can put them up a little bit. You know, I'm kind of taking the temples and pushing them up and that takes the reflection down a bit. So those are some little strategies that help you be more present. Know that when you're on a Zoom, everybody is watching every move you make, you know. So you can't afford to look disinterested, you can't afford to pick your nose, you can't afford to be eating your lunch.
Speaker 3:I know, right, michelle goes darn. No, no, no, I was just going to say it's the little things, right, I recently was honored enough to be included in an Oprah deal for the election, you know, when they did, all the groups that were supporting the Harris campaign. I know, and I was one of them. And one thing that they told me is and they told everyone like before, after, during, get your gums out because it looks terrible. And I never thought of it like I don't think I chew gum that often, but I, but there were some people and they were like, anyways, just the thought that goes behind, you know, a production like that, and it was like the gum chewing, but a lot of the things you just mentioned.
Speaker 2:So just very interesting. Yeah, and it's. It's doubly hard to form relationships online, to really feel connected. So it's like I noticed that Michelle did a thing and I commented on it, so so it's like that's the way that I say to Michelle I'm seeing you, sweetheart, you know, and and and that forming relationships through this medium is much, much harder, and so it requires a special attention to make people feel like you are present for all of them.
Speaker 3:What are two or three takeaways that you want VAS members to leave after this conversation, to leave with?
Speaker 2:that you want best members to leave after this conversation, to leave with. Well, one thing that I did get a chance to talk about, and that is the taming performance anxiety process and even if you don't identify it as taming performance anxiety, even if you identify it as I need to build my confidence, that three-step process physical release, deep breathing and the mantra I use for deep breathing is slower, deeper, quieter, calmer and I just say that to myself and get my breath deeper and more grounded and thirdly, controlling negative mental messaging, the other thing that I didn't get into. When you are speaking, breathing at every punctuation or thought shift is crucial, and if anybody wants to work with me further on that, or if you want to have me come back, we can work on a speech together and I can show you how to breathe, which is the power, and how to make space in your mouth, which is your megaphone. Breath is power, space is volume, and if you practice that when you are speaking, you don't have to think about that. I never think about breath, I never think about space, because I have rehearsed it enough. My body knows what to do. I can then focus on the individuals that I'm speaking to and form connections, which is the most important thing when you are speaking.
Speaker 2:Another thing it's not what you say that matters. Women will spend hours angsting over what am I going to say. It doesn't matter. It matters how you say it and how you make your audience feel. Information can be gotten on Google. How you feel can only be gotten from you.
Speaker 1:If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend and don't forget to leave us a review. And if you're ready to take your career to the next level, apply to join our community of professional women all eager to help you. Get there and stay there. Go to wwwbesther. Get there and stay there. Go to wwwbestherco and apply today.
